Ren, I’m sitting here in my hospital bed next to you and I can’t help but feel all the emotions at once. Your lips have turned dark and you’ve lost all the color in your face. They keep coming in to ask about our funeral arrangements and when they should take you. I can’t help but to be triggered when I hear the new baby cry’s coming from down the hall. That was suppose to be you. That was what we planned for. You were suppose to come home in your brand new car seat we got for you. You were suppose to sleep in the bassinet we already had ready for you next to our bed. You were suppose to keep us up all night for feedings and make us exhausted. You were suppose to wear the tiny new born diapers we already had stashed around the house. You were suppose to meet your big sister Teva. You were suppose to be our in our lives. I’m afraid to go home. I’m afraid to see your perfectly set up room and be there without you. I’m afraid to see all the gifts you were blessed with that are still in boxes. I’m afraid for family to trickle back home to their lives. I’m afraid for what has to become our new normal. I’m afraid to be without you. When you were born I was still in shock and I was afraid to look and for that I’m sorry. You’re so beautiful. I’m grateful the way you have changed me and the way I see life and people. I’m grateful for the hours we are able to hold you and touch your sweet face before they take you. I’m grateful that you were apart of our plan. I know your spirit is where you’re truly suppose to be. I know you’re surrounded with love and family in heaven. I’ll keep Daddy company and you do the same with your future brothers and sisters whom we’ve yet to meet. Your spirit is sweet and we feel your peace. You’ll always be our baby boy. Until we meet again sweet baby. Love, your Mama.
Gaye
Toni & Tommy, I KNOW that God has special blessings ahead for you – this has been a tough, painful, road. Keep the faith (as I know you will) – good things are on the horizon. Love each of you dearly and hope to see you soon, Gaye
Hailee Adams
Strongest momma I know ❤️
John Harbaugh
God bless you guys and Ren I hope your heavy hearts get lighter soon !!
Challis Fernandez
From one mother to another it hurts my heart so much I’m so sorry for your loss . You do not know me but I sympathize with you so much. I will pray for your family and pray that your hearts are healed one day.
Jackie Reding
Love and prayers!
One of your nurses
You all have left such an indelible place in my heart, such grace, such care and love for your son, and an amazingly close and considerate family you two have. I am in awe of your strength and it truly inspires me.
Julee Garner
My heart breaks for your loss! You are both wonderful parents and the Lord will bless your home for the love and acceptance you showed little Ren even before his birth! GOD bless you both with peace and comfort and the knowledge that families are forever and Ren will always be a part of you!
Candy
No words, ren was loved by so many, just sending your family love and peace in this most difficult time…
Anna Harbaugh
Dear Tommy and Toni,
Here I sit tears falling, my heart so broken to hear of our families loss. I want you both to know how sorry I am that your going through this. I may not keep in touch like i should but just know I have been following your posts of sweet Rens story. I have often found myself filled with such love and respect for the way you both have handled this part of your beautiful life. Its such a hard moment in life to walk through lossing a child. When my son Jacob passed away i was left feeling alot of the same emotions and fears that you have shared about Toni. It is such a empty agony within your heart that words truely cant describe. I want you to know that you will make it through this… remember to breath and know my mom has Ren wrapped in her sweet loving arms and will watch over him until your called home to be with him again. I believe that some souls are sooo sweet and soooo pure that they only have to touch down on this earth for a moment . Ren and Jacob were just that…perfectly pure. Our angels have done what we as humans strive to do our whole entire lives.In just a moment they left a permenant impression in this world and in our hearts forever. May God comfort you and your family Tommy through these hard times and may you find understanding and peace Nephew. Just know all of you are in my thoughts and prayers tonight. Tommy your Aunt Nana loves you guys with everything in her. If there is anything i can do please let me know. ❤
Judy Flynn
I can’t tell you how my heart aches for your loss. I have felt a part of your excitement and joy. I also now feel apart of your sorrow and loss. The Savior is there to help comfort and lift your sorrow. You will mourn and you will always miss that sweet one, but remember, you gave him his body and that is why he came to earth. He will be with you again someday, and what a comfort that knowledge is. Time will help, but there will always be a tender sadness in your hearts. Our prayers are with you and the Lord Jesus Christ is with you. Remember your family and friends and the Primary love you.
Ruth Carroll
Dear Toni and Tommy. God does not give us more than we can handle. You are so young but have grown in leaps and bounds. He is watching over you and his arms are holding you with the same tender care that I saw you were surrounding REN. I send my love and caring your way. I am sorry for the loss of your little one.
Stephanie Lopez
Thinking of you and your beautiful family. ❤️
Ryan
Our condolences to your family. Choosing life is always the right way. Our little Addie is now 28 months. She had many near death experiences. We have lived hour to hour and day to day wondering if she would live or die. Losing a child or almost losing one is hard for anyone to understand. “Thoughts and prayers” seem hollow in moments and days like these. Sometimes that is the best thing strangers and closest friends can offer. I will say that so many couples do not have the courage to choose life like you did, knowing that it could be a hard road or end prematurely. God will remember the goodness in both of you. I’m sorry for your lose and will pray for you and Ren.